Martha Stewart visits Furiken high
by Ranma's girl
Summary: Just the way the title says but with fun things going on hehehehe


Disclaimer for all to read or ignore which ever you prefer. Ok going on I don't own any of these characters in this fic not even Martha Stewart, I'm just using her name until I'm done then I'll give it right back honest. Oh in case you have read others of mine this will surprise you to know, but this one is not a lemon sorry giggle.   
  
  
  
Martha Stewart Visits Furinkan High.  
  
  
Martha Stewart walked toward the high school she was going to visit on her trip to Japan. She knew visiting a regular school would boost her ratings and make even more money for herself. As she approached the School a young man in black pants with ties around his calves, also sporting a yellow and black bandana was at the gate yelling.  
  
"WHERE AM I NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW" Ryoga yelled to the sky hoping some kami would take pity on him.  
  
"Your in front of Furinkan high school." Martha told him gently. Ryoga turned around quickly to see which angel it was who saved him hoping beyond hope it was Akane.  
"Your not Akane. Or an angel your a gaijin." Ryoga noted as he wondered who she was and why she was talking to him.  
  
"Hello young man, my name is Martha Stewart perhaps you've heard of me." Martha bowed nicely to the young man who bowed back.  
  
"Nope no clue who you are, I'm looking for Akane at school. Do you know where she is?" Ryoga asked hopefully.  
  
"Oh Akane must be your girlfriend, well if she goes to furinkan then your in luck here we are." Martha pointed toward the large brick building with many holes of various shapes around the place.  
  
Ryoga mega blushed to have someone refer to Akane as his girlfriend, but wasn't about to let this gaijin women know the truth, after who'd be hurt by it.  
"Yeah she is and this is furinkan that's great, I'm heading in right now to find her thanks lady." Ryoga immediately started walking in the other direction. Martha watched him walk off then spoke up.  
  
"You don't want to see her?" Martha asked nicely.  
  
"Of course I do." Answered Ryoga. He looked back at her like she'd gone nuts before his eyes.  
  
"Then why are you leaving?" Martha watched the young man blush all over before turning in the opposite direction and walk that way. "Where are you going now? Martha was having troubles understanding this boy.  
  
"To furinkan of course." Ryoga answered while wondering if this woman was lacking a few too many brain cells.  
  
"Ryoga you jackass, you can't even get into school to find her with help." A young girl with long brown hair and the largest spatula Martha had ever seen strapped to her back, snarled at him.  
  
"You must be his girlfriend Akane, I'm Martha Stewart it's nice to meet you." Martha bowed to her politely.  
  
"Nice to meecha lady, I'm Ukyo, Ranchan's cute fiancée not this jerks girlfriend." Ukyou then grabbed Ryoga's hand to lead him into the school. Martha stood there at the gate watching them walk in side.  
  
"Lets hope we don't see those two again." Martha mumbled to herself with out remembering all of this was being picked up on her small microphone. As they walked into the school ground a man soon met them with a loud Hawaiian shirt on and a tree growing out of his head. The man yelled out as he jumped toward the unsuspecting Martha.  
  
"All wahaine's needs have bowl cuts, we fix you up good yah." Principal Kuno then jumped over her head while cutting off several lengths of hair.  
  
"What are you doing cutting my hair, I'm here to do a show from your school." Martha seldom got angry but this buffoon in his loud shirt cut her hair. The principal looked horrified for a moment.  
  
"You no is new student, you rich lady from states. So sorry here I give you some of my hairs look good yah." Using his clippers he quickly snipped off several strands to hand to Martha who with out thinking took them from him. After the greasy strands of hair were placed in her hands Martha did what any women would do.  
  
"Yuk when did you wash your hair last." As she shook her hand vigorously, to free it of the greasy lengths.  
  
"Wahanie is funny lady, you see my favorite tree it no can grow there if my hair clean. shampoo very bad for pineapple trees" The principal pointed to his head where Martha tried to think of something creative to say.  
  
"See what can be done, when you don't have a planter handy. Isn't that original to see." Martha Stewart shuddered then turned from the mad man to head into the school.  
  
Once inside Martha noticed that it seem to be in between classes since the halls were filled with students. One girl with short brown hair was collecting a large amount of money from other students. Martha walked over to talk to her first.  
  
"As you can see this nice girl is collecting money to help the needy." Martha smiled for her camera as she walked up next to Nabiki Tendo. A large groan of pain was heard through out the hallways as the girl chuckled in a evil way then started to collect even more money from the already, the poorest in Japan student body. Martha looked around, as several students seem to be glaring at her now. Trying to ignore the hostile environment Martha started to talk to Nabiki.  
  
"Hello may I ask which worthy organization you are collecting for." Martha smiled warmly as the ratings ran through her mind.  
  
"Sure it's for the TKNFEHTWFALF." Nabiki grinned evilly as many others moaned again before one shouted out.  
  
"ASK HER WHAT IT STANDS FOR."  
  
Martha trying to think on her owns what worthy organization it could be, finally had to ask her. "That is wonderful, but I'm sorry I'm not familiar with that one. Can you tell me about it." Martha smiled again for the camera.  
  
OH it's the best one there is, would you like to contribute some money to it yourself." Nabiki smiled oh so sweetly.  
  
"Why yes I would I love to give to charity." Another moan of pain went through out the student body. Nabiki smiled as she took some money from Martha and the rest of the student body, which made Martha wonder why they were all donating again if they didn't want to. "So what is the name you still haven't told me?" Martha was feeling a bit uneasy now.  
  
"Oh it's very simple it the TO KEEP NABIKI FROM EVER HAVING TO WORK FOR A LIVING FUND." Nabiki proudly stated to her.  
  
"HUH I just donated a hundred dollars to you?" Martha Stewart was not impressed anymore and even less impressed when another groan went throughout the student body.  
"What's going on now?" Martha was afraid to ask but had to know.  
  
"Oh it's very simple they had placed several bets with me on what you'd do or say and lost again." Nabiki smiled as she took in more money. Martha took several deep calming breaths *I will not yell at this young girl after all she was just being enterprising which should be encouraged right.* "But Not at my expense though, out a hundred bucks cause this stupid girl places bets on me and what I'll do." Martha growled under her breath again forgetting the microphone. Martha walked away done helping this girl take money from her classmates.  
  
Martha saw the girl with the large cooking utensil and decided to give her another try.  
  
"So my dear you like to cook, what kind of food do you cook?" Martha flinched as another moan was heard from the student body.  
  
"Oh hi, I cook okinomeyaki the best in Japan no wait the best in the world." Ukyou proudly stated.  
  
"My that is very good maybe you can show me, they must be very large too, seeing how large your spatula is." Martha pointed out her spatula while flinching again at the moans coming from behind her.  
  
"Huh oh no, this isn't for cooking. This is for fighting. I'm the best okinomeyaki fighter in the world, unless Ranchan took it up then he'd be the best." Ukyou smiled happily.  
  
"Is this Ranchan your boyfriend?" Martha asked politely. Another moan caused Martha to glare back at the short brown hair girl, which caused another moan from the students. Martha turned away angry, intent on ignoring that girl.  
  
"Yes he is." Ukyou answered not realizing that other things were distracting Martha.  
  
"He is not." A growl came from a girl with short dark hair with pretty blue highlights.  
Martha smiled at her, before talking.  
  
"So are you his girlfriend." Martha smiled as Akane turned to her.  
  
"Who me umm well that is you see it's our fathers idea, not ours." Akane mega blushed.  
  
"Ah ok well maybe you can show me where the cooking class is." Martha asked nicely. "Do you like to cook will you be in there?"  
  
"You won't mind me being in there? This is great I'd love to thanks." Akane gushed with happiness as a moan went through the hallways. Martha started to walk with Akane toward the cooking class when they met a handsome boy with a pigtail.  
  
"Akane what are you doing, whose this gaijin woman?" Ranma asked as he walked along with them.  
  
"Geez Ranma don't you ever watch any American shows this is Martha Stewart." Akane pointed toward her. She has a great show on TV called Martha Stewart living and she shows people how to do so many great things." Akane informed him.  
  
"Hey cool think she can show you how to cook." Ranma looked at her suspiciously since her hair cut was very odd.  
  
"Of course she can were going there now." Akane headed into a room that had a large sign that read Akane stay out. Martha eyed it with wonderment before asking her a question.  
  
"Why is that sign on the door." Martha shuddered again as the moans went through out the halls.  
  
"Oh it's nothing the last teacher we had was such a wimpy cry baby, my food wasn't that bad. Ranma ate it and was fine." Akane smiled happily.  
  
"Yeah I guess I really built up a high tolerance for it huh." Ranma smirked as Akane gave him a punch to the stomach. "Go away you aren't needed in here." Akane smiled as she waited for Martha to do something besides stand with an odd look on her face  
  
"Well now let us begin our first lesson. Well be making some very yummy miso soup and pot stickers.  
"We always have that lets have some great kind of American food." Ranma asked.  
  
"But we, well being here I thought we'd do something Japanese." Martha told him politely.  
  
"Your not Japanese so do something American we can have our own kind of food anytime, but not something American." Ranma reasoned with her.  
  
"Umm sure lets see what shall we try." Martha asked since he seemed to be a regular type boy.  
  
"Hmm lets have pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs, steak, baked potatoes, nachos, burritos, hash browns, eggs, toast, spaghetti, chicken, turkey, pies....." Ranma started to name all the foods he could think of that were not Japanese in anyway.  
  
"So which of those would you like?" Martha asked politely.  
  
"All." Ranma couldn't believe she wanted to limit it to one thing.  
  
"Umm well since this is live and we are running out of time, lets just do one how about spaghetti." Martha smiled as Ranma looked a bit disappointed but nodded his head anyways.  
  
Martha moved over toward the stove talking about making spaghetti to the TV viewing audience.   
"So I guess we'll be making spaghetti for our young friends here in furinkan high." Another moan went through the crowd, which caused another shudder to go through Martha.  
  
Martha started to cook her spaghetti while several girls also started to follow her directions. One girl with long dark hair in a ponytail on the top of her head was adding a spice that Martha did not recognized, thinking of the exotic spice that she might not know of Martha started to talk to her.  
"My what is that unusual spice you are using May I try it?" Martha asked as a moan was sounded again and the girl in question laughed insanely causing Martha to shiver even more intently.  
  
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO I knew you'd recognize talent when you saw it. I am Kodachi the black rose of St herbaticus high." Kodachi posed for the camera as many girls started grumbling.  
  
"Umm isn't this furinkan high though." Martha asked her politely.  
  
"Oh yes it is but since my father is the head master here and you weren't going to my school, I decided to come here today." Kodachi laughed again causing shivers to run through everyone around her.  
  
"I wouldn't eat that is I were you." Akane informed her.  
  
"Yeah it's never safe to eat her food." Ranma added which earned him a glare from Kodachi and smiles from Akane and Ukyou.  
  
"Why that's silly her food looks wonderful and I'm dying to try her exotic spice." Martha took a couple of bites of spaghetti chewing happily.  
"Why this is delicious you must tell me what kind of spice is in here." Martha smiled warmly thinking one thing *Finally a normal student*  
  
"It's paralysis potion. I love to use it in all my cooking." Kodachi gushed with happiness.  
  
"Par par paralysis. Why would you ....erk?" Martha Stewart fell down to the ground unable to move, another groan going through out the hall way filled with students.  
  
"Well let's get back to cooking while it wears off." Akane announced as she went back to her own spaghetti.  
  
A few minutes later the wall next to Martha caved in with a crash as a purple hair girl walked in. "Naiho, where is husband. Oh there you are." Shampoo walked over to Ranma who was watching Akane cook spaghetti. The moans of pain continued as students kept handing money to Nabiki.  
  
"Ranma eat to to delicious ramen, Shampoo make just for you." Shampoo purred happily which caused Ranma to picture cats.  
"No thanks." Ranma tried to ignore her but she made it difficult holding his arm so tightly.  
  
Ryoga wandered in from the hall yelling. "Where am I now."   
  
Oh hello Ryoga I didn't know you were here." Akane talk politely as shampoo kept trying to get Ranma to eat her ramen.  
  
"Hehehehehe yeah I umm just got here too." Ryoga again mega blushed as impure thoughts ran through his head whenever he saw Akane Tendo. Ranma glared knowing just what kind of thoughts were making him blush like that, not that he'd ever have them of course.  
  
"So pig boy whacha doing now." Ranma taunted him, which of course work since Ryoga hated to be taunted by anyone but mostly him.  
  
"Go way stupid I'm here to see Akane not you." Ryoga glared daggers at Ranma.  
  
"Always chasing what you can't have she is my fiancée you know." Ranma stood up glaring the daggers right back at him.  
  
"Umm guys lets not fight in front of our guest, I think the paralysis is wearing off now." Akane stood between them hoping to keep the damage level to a minimum.  
  
"Oh sure that's fine, anyways he's to easy to beat." Ranma moved back a bit which he luckily didn't notice the daggers being thrown at him with the two pair of eyes glaring at him, from Ukyou and Shampoo.  
  
"Why he always call her fiancée, he know say that bout me." Shampoo grumbled loudly  
  
"It makes no sense to me either sugar." Ukyou grumbled with her.  
  
None of them noticed that Martha was now standing on wobbly legs but was standing up now.  
  
"Whose easy to beat." Growled Ryoga as the daggers resumed.  
Martha stood between them while still looking a bit unhealthy.  
"Lets not fight we don't have a lot of time left. Lets try some of the spaghetti that has been made today." Martha smiled weakly as she moved toward Akane's boiling and bubbling mass of spaghetti. Ukyou glared daggers at her since she wasn't trying hers first.  
  
Martha tried a small very small bit just in case she went to the same cooking class as the other girl. A greenish hue moved across her face as the odd taste and weird feeling went sliding down her throat. The green soon turned to blue then purple then red and then took on many forms of colors. Martha quickly ran over to the sink where for the first time on TV she threw up violently.   
  
Akane stamped her small foot down hard. "Darn it, I must have done something wrong again. Here Ranma you try and let me know what you think." Akane handed Ranma a large plateful of spaghetti.  
  
"HUH, you want me to try it look what happen to her." Ranma hooked a thumb in Martha's directions.  
  
"I'll try it Akane I know anything you make is going to be wonderful." Ryoga then grabbed the plate, which caused Ranma to turn green with jealousy as he then grabbed the plate back from him. "Hey she's my fiancée if anyone's gonna croak from her cooking it's gonna be me." Ranma then found himself in a tug a war with Ryoga over who got to eat the deadly spaghetti.  
  
Martha watched the two boys fighting over it and wondered if there was more to it then her first impression implied. Shaking her head softly she decided not to risk it.  
  
Ukyou and Shampoo stood glaring at the boys fighting over who got to die first for Akane. Akane mega blushed since Ranma kept yelling she's my fiancée I'm the one who gets to try it.  
  
"Children we only have a few minutes left so lets clean up and I shall be able to leave." Martha just wanted out now as more groans went through out he student body.  
  
The fighters, blushers, glarers and flat broke kids all looked at Martha Stewart then all stopped what they were doing.  
  
"We're sorry." Chorused the crowd. Martha smiled warmly thinking this would at least end well.  
  
"Ok let's get some water going and we'll scrub up the dirty pots." Martha moved toward the sink with a large crowd gathered around her. As Martha started to scrub her pots she noticed the students were giving their own to her as well.  
  
"Don't you think you should clean up your own dishes?" Martha reasoned with them, they all gave her a stupefied look while piling on more dishes. "Umm ok, I can help you out, you must be late for class right." Martha shuddered as more moans were heard.  
  
Akane handed a dish to Martha as Ranma gave her another one to give her. Shampoo not liking them so close pushed her way in between them. "Shampoo better help for Ranma the pervert girl." Shampoo gave Akane a look of triumph.  
  
"Says you, you Chinese bimbo." Akane growled as she dumped some water on top of Shampoo's head. "Not much help as a cat now are you, Shampoo." Akane gave her own smile of triumph as Shampoo neko growled while Ranma shrieked "C ca caca cacacacat CAT, CAT, CAT." Ranma ran around the room while Shampoo clung on to his head for dear life. Akane then noticed a small black pig oinking at her pitifully to be picked up.  
  
"Oh P-chan what are you doing here." Akane cuddled the piggy up while thinking if she should throw Shampoo neko out he window or wait for Ranma to do it when he turned cat. Akane took pity on them both and grabbed Shampoo off his head as he ran by. With a flip of her wrist Shampoo neko went flying out the window with a loud crash and tinkle, tinkle of breaking glass. "Oops guess the window wasn't open." Akane looked toward the window with a cat shape in it now. Martha stood still trying to figure out how the girl became a cat, the other boy became a pig and the pigtail boy was now meowing on all fours.  
  
"Umm what is going on here? Martha asked then glared hatefully at Nabiki who smiled angelically, as a moan went through the student body.  
  
"It's no big deal, Ranma was train in the cat fist so cats scare him." Akane explain as neko thinking Ranma growled at Martha Stewart for talking to his mate and owner. Before Martha could move or think, Ranma attacked her ripping most of her clothes to shreds and leaving long cat claw marks all over her body, while hissing loudly.  
  
"It's best not to get to close to me, he can be very protective." Akane explain to Martha who only nodded once, while Ukyou glared daggers at her.  
  
The rest had wisely moved some distance back, but not to far back since all the action was in here. Just then a small girl came into the room looking around for delinquents.   
  
"Are you a delinquent? If you are I'll have to punish you." Miss Hinako told Martha who could only look at her with disbelieving eyes.  
  
"Child what are you doing here it's not safe for you here." Giving a knowing look at the girl now sitting on the ground with a boy purring in her lap, while another girl glared at them both.  
  
"I'm not a child, I'm the disciplinary teacher of furinkan high." Miss Hinako announced loudly.  
  
"Yeah right kid go home I've had it with this place." Martha glared around at the place thinking only gas and matches could help this place. Martha soon felt a draining affect on her body as she look to see the child growing into a shapely young women while holding a yen coin between her fingers.  
  
"Hoooooooow." Martha whispered, as her energy was drain from her body.  
  
"That'll teach you delinquents to try to impersonate my favorite American home maker. Hinako glared daggers at Martha.  
  
"Umm that is Martha Stewart." Akane told her from her place on he floor.  
  
"Who? I was talking about Erma Bombeck." The adult Miss Hinako replied.  
  
Martha Stewart had seen, heard all she could now as she went in to a tizzy fit of screams, kicking legs, arms waving around while yelling insanely.  
Another moan was heard through the student body, which caused Martha to scream louder, then before.  
  
A few minutes later Martha was hauled out of furinkan in a nice white coat with wrap around sleeves. The student body moans some more as they handed money over to Nabiki while glaring daggers at Martha who was still ranting and raving like crazy.  
  
Martha Stewarts rating were never higher then they were this day on her visit to furinkan high school.  
Ranma's girl hehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehehe The End  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
